we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize