I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize