did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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