i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i dont even know how to be here
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
