this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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