I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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