Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
