We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
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You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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