i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize