Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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