All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
