he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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