he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
