1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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