Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
