yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is my gift to your gina
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
