you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize