I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
