I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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