I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How does it feel to date your dad?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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