so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
