quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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