I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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