She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
