Kiss
Puke
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
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I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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