There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
