He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
