you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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