Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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