ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
