Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
