i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
