ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.