You really coming over, don't trick.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized