The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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