Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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