she was so not down for the gang bang
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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