i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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