New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Someone came in the potted fern
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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