oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He literally asked permission to hit on me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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