There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
