Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize