she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
