THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
