Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
