Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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