DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
