The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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