so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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