I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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