the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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