He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You were trust falling into bushes
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize