i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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