My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize