omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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