I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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