on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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