So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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