so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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