the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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