ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
