As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
