3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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